It’s good to read some success stories every now and then. I’ve been following Chris Guillebeau for a short while now. His story is truly fascinating in that it’s all about following your own road to success.

Those kinds of stories are always inspiring. We often watch them with a smidgen of envy. We wish we could do our own thing just like this person. Wouldn’t we just be so much happier.

Yet when one looks at the successes of this writer and adventurer there are also many hurdles he has had to overcome and things didn’t always look as positively as they do now.

It’s been hard work and tenacity that has made this person reach some quite stunning achievements. Not only that but it’s taken a few years to get where he is. Read his story on his blog and get his feed. It’s worth reading about his life and physical travels.

Besides hard work and persistence the other characteristic that distinguishes him from other people, and this is just my opinion here, is that he is able to step outside of his comfort zone.

Almost all of us work hard and persist in maintaining our living standards and striving towards our goals. Yet we don’t reach the same heights as this person.  I think the great distinguisher is the amount of risk we are prepared to take.

When we are young and still growing up we generally face life fairly fearlessly. We happily walk on cliff edges, jump into pools from a tree, try a new hobby, play a new sport, take a backpack trip through Asia and many more times we totally step out of our comfort zone.

We seem to lose this ability as soon as we step over the 20 year threshold. Sometimes it lasts into our early thirties but not much further. It’s the risk averseness that puts our dreams to rest and kills off lofty ideals.

Pity isn’t it. We limit ourselves and our experiences by being afraid. Afraid of what? Maybe if we find out what we are so scared off we can get rid of it and re-instate our dreams? Fear of failure? Could it be just that?

Have you ever had a really good look at who you think you are? I bet you, you haven’t. I certainly haven’t. But it’s an exercise I need to undertake. In fact we could all do with a bit of a self-analysis. Bring on that couch.

I suppose it is easy to shy away from a self-assessment look or two. Primarily because we anticipate to see only horrible things. Don’t we?

Sure we think we are good at some things. Maybe we can play a sport well, tinkle the ivories a little, fix the car or find that special discount. We all have some special skills we know we can be proud of.

But how do we show up in the self-assessment on the big things? Do we think we are trustworthy, honest, a great friend to have, a wonderful partner, a super achiever and in short do we think we are worthy of love?

Our own love. Are we heros in our own eyes?

Most of us don’t think we are any good. And the worst thing is that because we think we are no good in a few areas of our lives be it at work or in relationships, we automatically think we suck at everything. Across the board.

Phew. Isn’t that a bit harsh? We wouldn’t do that to our enemies never mind our friends.

So why don’t we give ourselves some leeway? Why are we our worst critics? Why do we continuously run ourselves down, belittle ourselves, bemoan our lack of skills and virtues and in general think everybody else is far better than we are.

We do that don’t we?

Let’s try an exercise. For a few weeks, it seems three weeks is the recommended duration, we get into the habit of praising ourselves. Every day.

Forget about it being a big-headed kind of exercise. So what. This is between you and you. Nobody else needs to know about it. So if nobody hears it, they can’t think you are being self-centered, self-absorbed, self-praising etc etc.

There’s only an audience of one. That’s you. Oh by the way, aren’t we kind of important. So let’s play that to our gallery of one. Make it a theatrical showcase. Play to the crowds. Expect that applause.

Anyway. if you’re not up to it, I’m going to try it anyway. But if you do try this, then let me know how you go. Would be interesting to share experiences here.

You might have heard of Jacob Zuma? He’s the South African vice president who got fired from his job in June 2005 because there were some fraud charges pending against him.

Then those charges were dropped, then they were revisited and so on and so on. That scenario played itself out several times over a four year period.

If you haven’t heard that one you might have read that he got off a rape charge a a year later. He got off because it ended up being a he says she says kind of case, not because he was necessarily innocent or guilty of course.

And the media never lets him forget any of this. Everytime his name is mentioned, the fact that he has unresolved fraud charges against him and that he was acquitted of a rape charge is added to his name.  It is therefore not easy for him to forget any of these accusations.

Looking even further back he was locked up on the notorious Robben Island, alongside Nelson Mandela for ten long years. It was on charges of conspiring to overthrow the apartheid government.

So what does Jacob Zuma have to do with never giving up?

A lot actually. He’s just been sworn in as South Africa’s new president.

Wouldn’t you and I have given up? Look at the negatives in his life. Yet he persevered and achieved the highest position in the country.

It’s a reminder to all of us. What might appear to be horrifically awful and life shattering during the moments you are living through them can be overcome and left behind with new victories ever on the horizon.

Those new victories need only be grabbed hold of by all of us just as Jacob Zuma grabbed hold of his.

Don’t ever give up on your dreams.

Many a times I have seen older people change from open, moderate, liberal beings into closed off prejudiced rusty humans. In fact it often seems a given that the older one gets the more hard core and restricted ones views become.

It’s almost a requirement for old age to be as bigoted as possible. As a right for old age you have to be grumpy, miserable, set in your own ways, unrelentingly critical of everybody else, but above all don’t allow anybody else the space to breath.

Isn’t that how we perceive the older people to be?

What a breath of fresh air then to come across an elderly lady, all of a young 83 years of age, who is happy to change her opinions and her beliefs. For instance her stance on gay people. I can bet that this older person didn’t even know what gay people were when she was growing up.

I’m twenty odd years younger and I didn’t know anything about that topic until I was heading into my early twenties. Sure, I could have had a sheltered youth, but I am sure many people my age did not grow up surrounded by gay people.

So I’m going to presume that this elderly woman didn’t either. Yet at her age of 83 she is happily talking about people and their differences without showing one hint of prejudice.

In fact her musings, to be found on her blog, show a wonderful openness to a broad range of thinking. Her highest energy level of disdain is focused on people who are not prepared to allow others their right to their own idea of happiness.

It is wonderful to see this. Maybe there will be more older folk who will be prepared to open their minds, learn new things, accept different opinions and life styles even as they get older and their brains calcify.

Just because we are starting to creek, doesn’t mean that we have to close our minds to the amazing world we live in with all its differences that make it so special. Do we really need to close our minds, hearts and souls to live a wonderful life?

I would suggest it’s the other way around. Open yourself up to all that is different in this world. Your life will become enriched beyond belief. Close yourself to other opinions, beliefs, sexual orientation, race etc and your life will be the poorer for it.

Have you ever done this? I just caught myself doing something really ridiculous. What is even worse, half way through my action I realised I was heading for the winner’s podium for the ridiculous activity of the year award and still couldn’t stop myself.

I was standing at the pedestrian traffic lights waiting for them to change for me. It occurred to me that I should check whether the button had been pushed to change the signal as I had seemingly been waiting for ever.

As I was raising my hand to push the button I realised that the light was already on. With other words, somebody else had already done the deed. My hand continued to lift up, and yes I admit I was lifting it up all by myself, and I pushed the button again.

My focus was so set on pushing that button I continued with the action even though I could see it had already been done. Have you ever? I just laughed at myself and hoped nobody else had seen me do that.

It made me reflect that I probably do this a lot and most probably other people do the same. We are focused on a goal and we go all out to accomplish it. Half way through we realise it’s already been achieved.

However, we have gathered such momentum that we continue and spend our energy on completing a task that has no meaning whatsoever.

I have caught myself doing stuff on social media recently that is totally meaningless because the circumstances have changed. But I continue relentless. So I will continue to take part in a group even though there is no benefit to me. I’m just so focused, I can’t let go.

In the past few months I’ve been playing bridge with a group of people, but I don’t really enjoy it. The people are lovely, just the games are so boring. And I continue to go to the sessions.

So I have promised myself today that I will clean out the stuff I just don’t want to do anymore. It’s time to get real and stop pushing the buttons that are already lit up. Find some new buttons to push that need lighting up.

Have you found yourself in that situation? Or should I rather ask, how many times have you found yourself following something or somebody for absolutely no reason except that it’s habit or you have committed yourself to the action.

Maybe it’s time for you too to push new buttons.

Perception is quite something. The New York Times has an article on Obama and his influence on public perception on race. Since his win in the elections two-thirds of Americans now say race relations are generally good and amongst blacks it has doubled.

I have no doubt in my mind that nothing has changed for the rank and file. There is as much or as little racism in the USA as there was before the November elections. All that has changed is that a man of colour, or at least some colour, has become president of the USA.

It makes him a rare example. It’s more like the exception proves the point kind of thinking. With other words just because one individual has made it past prejudice and overcome stumbling blocks put in the way by the colour of his skin, doesn’t mean others of the same background will do equally well.

It’s the same with women. Just because a few are earning equal salaries as men and are CEO’s of companies doesn’t mean that it has become easier for ordinary women to get paid the same and to manage it to the top of the corporate ladder.

In fact the Guardian reported on recent research published by the Equality and Human Rights Commission in the UK which found that women working full-time in the financial sector earn 55% less a year on average than their male counterparts.

In fact those working in the most lucrative sectors were found to suffer even greater disparities. This is happening in the UK, a country that prides itself on its equality standards.

Yet we have the perception that women are better off in the work environment and that they more or less have equal rights and pay.  That’s not even close to reality according to this report.

It would surely bring up the same results if one were to check on how well African-Americans score in the equality stakes. I would imagine as poorly as they did before November 2008. But because one person has managed to break through the glass ceiling, perception has changed to view the world a more equal place.

Our perceptions sure dictate how we think and feel, don’t they. How often do we judge somebody or a situation by a perception we hold.  We could be so off target and not even know it. Best we be careful then!

It’s all about baby steps. Remember when you learnt to ride a bicycle, or when you took your first driving lesson. Of course you don’t remember when you took your first baby steps clinging onto mom or dad’s hands.

But with loads of courage, massively beating heart, shortness of breath you took those first little steps. First as a baby, then when you learnt something difficult as riding a bike and do you remember how you felt when you first sat behind the steering wheel of a car?

Or maybe think back on your first day at ‘big’ school. Your first date, your first speech you made in front of people, the first time you went into a bank and opened an account. Each time it took just one small step of courage and you learnt the rest as you went along. Each one a baby step.

We think we have to be brave in one huge hit. We should be instantaneously confident at doing something new. We think we are failures if we get scared and back down. Then we don’t try and we get stuck in our lives.

But break it down into tiny steps of courage, lots of them, and you will find that it’s not that difficult. Don’t forget to ask for help along the way. Get somebody to hold your hand if that will help.

Scared to go to that first session to join a choir? Take along a friend even if they have no plan to stay with it. Just grab help. Take those little steps and if needed get training wheels like you had with your first bike.

What could be the worst that happens to you when you take baby steps? You could tip over a few times. But boy when you get it! The pleasure is amazing. When you have been singing with the choir for a month and you start to get confident in your part that’s when you wonder why you were ever scared.

Think of your life now. How many times have you given up because you thought the task too huge, your confidence just not up to it, your skills lacking, your intelligence not enough, your personality dull, your your your…

Take baby steps. Little ones. Small bits of courage rather than one overwhelmingly  huge and scary dose. Break down those batches of courage into manageable bite size. You will find the right amount to carry you forward.

The penalty for not doing it? Not enjoying your life fully. Freezing into an ice sculpture at the thought of trying something new. Eventually staying at home, looking out your window as the world goes past. That’s what awaits one.

And it is so not necessary. Take little steps of courage. That’s all it takes.

There is so much lying, cheating, stealing, defrauding going on everywhere in our lives it hardly seems worth it to tread a more virtuous path for oneself.  Just watch the TV news for a few hours or read the daily newsletters online and you will know what I mean.

It’s wall to wall news of somebody defrauding somebody else, killing somebody, being caught telling a lie or cheating, defaming somebody, bringing out a misleading report, trying to sell a faulty product and the list goes on.

What do we make of all of this? Do we blend into the moral morass or do we stick out like a sore thumb by actually doing the right thing?

Or maybe it’s just our leaders and heads of big companies that are lying, thieving cheats? And it’s us common folk who try and live an honest life. It seems to me as if one has to be dishonest just to get to the top because that’s where the scum seems to have floated to.

Have you ever wondered about all of this yourself? And have you wondered where you fit in. After all it seems almost normal to be dishonest, especially when everybody else seems to be doing the same thing.

But are they?

I don’t think we do. We hate being dishonest. We are embarrassed if the product we manufacture is faulty. We return money if there was an error.  We don’t steal from the store even if we could get away with it.

That’s most of us. I’m pretty confident about that.

So why is there so much of it about?

Probably because the good stuff isn’t worth reporting on. The CEO who does his work well without having to cheat and lie is just not newsworthy. The politician who is honest and hardworking for his constituents isn’t reported on.

The ordinary people who get on with their lives without resorting to this kind of damaging behaviour just fly under the radar all the time.

What a pity. Can’t we please have some good news for a change. Is there no way we can give some exposure to people who do it right, who are honorable, honest, truthful and who do the right stuff.

The Americans who tortured or condoned those torturing Iraqis are getting major exposure in the press right now. What about all the Americans who have done great things, whether in Iraq or elsewhere. Let’s hear about them too. There are far more of those around than the nasties. I would bet my life on that!

So in the end, what you decide to do is up to you. Unsung hero, or exposed villain. The choice is always ours, isn’t it.

Do you ever feel that your life is one endless moment of having to do the right thing. There never seem to be any choices. It’s as if we are tied down to follow that specific pathway. What’s the point we wonder.

I feel like that most of the time. It’s so bad that I find it hard to work out what I want in life. It’s making it really difficult to set goals that I can resonate with. Isn’t that sad?

However, I have this feeling that this is not foreign to other people out there. Don’t most of us feel so duty bound to do things in a certain way that we see no other path ahead of us?

We have to work so that our kids can go to a good school. We need to live in a good area so that the kids have the opportunity to attend that school. The college we attended after school had to have a great reputation. Even the car we buy is in line with budgets and other constraints.

Our whole life seems to be determined by what we think is right and what we feel other people who are constantly watching us, or so we think, will approve of.

So we dream of making huge riches because then we finally feel we have control over our lives. I wonder if truly wealthy people think they have control, or does it just mean there are further things they feel they have to do in order to conform.

I’m still puzzling over this. If you have a suggestion or the answer. Do let me know. I could do with a little bit of help here.